Till The End
All these precious moments
With you by my side
Must be a gift from heaven
That’s holding me all night
I don’t know how I found you
I’m thankful that I have
Now that I have a love so true
To hold to keep to share
In my heart I can no longer hold inside
All of the love I used to hide
I'd always be with you until the very end
In this world there is no place I’d rather be
You are my life my soul my girl
And through it all I know you come to see that you’re the one till the end
All my friends around me
Say you’ll be gone too soon
Baby I’m gonna make them see …
We found our way back home
In my heart I can no longer hold inside
All of the love I used to hide
I'd always be with you until the very end
In this world there is no place Id rather be
You are my life my soul my girl
And through it all , I know you’ve come to see that you’re the one till the end
We'll always be....
till the end......
Ladies up in here tonight
No fightin', no fightin'
We got the refugees up in here
No fightin', no fightin'
Shakira, Shakira
I never really knew that she could dance like this
She makes a man want to speak Spanish
Como se llama, bonita, mi casa, su casa
Shakira, Shakira
Oh baby when you talk like that
You make a woman go mad
So be wise and keep on
Reading the signs of my body
I'm on tonight
You know my hips don't lie
And I'm starting to feel it's right
All the attraction, the tension
Don't you see baby, this is perfection
Hey Girl, I can see your body movin'
And it's driving me crazy
And I didn't have the slightest idea
Until I saw you dancin'
And when you walk up on the dance floor
Nobody cannot ignore the way you move your body, girl
And everything so unexpected - the way you right and left it
So you can keep on shaking it
I never really knew that she could dance like this
She makes a man want to speak Spanish
Como se llama, bonita, mi casa, su casa
Shakira, Shakira
Oh baby when you talk like that
You make a woman go mad
So be wise and keep on
Reading the signs of my body
And I'm on tonight
You know my hips don't lie
And I am starting to feel you boy
Come on lets go, real slow
Don't you see baby asi es perfecto
Oh I won't deny my hips don't lie
And I am starting to feel it's right
All the attraction, the tension
Don't you see baby, this is perfection
Shakira, Shakira
Oh boy, I can see your body moving
Half animal, half man
I don't, don't really know what I'm doing
But you seem to have a plan
My will and self restraint
Have come to fail now, fail now
See, I am doing what I can, but I can't so you know
That's a bit too hard to explain
Baila en la calle de noche
Baila en la calle del dia
Baila en la calle de noche
Baila en la calle del dia
I never really knew that she could dance like this
She makes a man want to speak Spanish
Como se llama, bonita, mi casa, su casa
Shakira, Shakira
Oh baby when you talk like that
You know you got me hypnotized
So be wise and keep on
Reading the signs of my body
Senorita, feel the conga, let me see you move like you come from Colombia
Mira en Barranquilla se baila asi, say it!
Mira en Barranquilla se baila asi
Yeah
She's so sexy every man's fantasy a refugee like me back with the Fugees from a 3rd world country
I go back like when 'pac carried crates for Humpty Humpty
I need a whole club dizzy
Why the CIA wanna watch us? [Shakira/Wyclef Jean]
Colombians and Haitians
I ain't guilty, it's a musical transaction
No more do we snatch ropes
Refugees run the seas 'cause we own our own boats
I'm on tonight, my hips don't lie
And I'm starting to feel you boy
Come on let's go, real slow
Baby, like this is perfecto
Oh, you know I won't deny and my hips don't lie
And I am starting to feel it's right
The attraction, the tension
Baby, like this is perfection
No fightin'
No fightin'
Saw some pictures in the paper
Of a girl I'd met the day before.
I couldn't believe that hours later
I had reporters knockin at my door
But I used to dream about
The life I'm living now and
I didn't think I'd miss those things from the past
And I'm not afraid of leaving
Or letting go of what I had
Cause I realize that now there's no turning back.
Cause (I mean) I'm caught living in a world filled with love
So when tear drops fall from me like rain from above
I can brush my troubles away, know that deep down inside
I got sun shining in my life
I used to think I could get better
My girlfriends always used to get me wrong
Some just sent messages, love letters
But those kinda feelings never lasted long
Cause now the only love I find's within a castle made of sand
And when the tide goes out it's swept away.
Though I got my peace of mind
And time is firmly on my side
And through the battles I can safely say
Cause (I mean) I'm caught living in a world filled with love
So when tear drops fall from me like rain from above
I can brush my troubles away, know that deep down inside
I got sun shining in my life.
I'm caught living in a world filled with love
So when tear drops fall from me like rain from above
I can brush my troubles away, know that deep down inside
I got sun shining in my life.
Tomorrow, May 6, 2006, will determine PAP's fate and the direction which Singapore will be heading for the next 4 years. I have been following the news on the general election progress. The oppostion parties and PAP's rallies. Pity though, I wanted to attend the rallies tonight. But my boyfriend's doing duty... No choice, 4 years later then.
Received my progress package of $800. Splendid! My 21st red packet. Perfect timing. But sadly though, I'm not given a chance to vote in the general election. How I envy those people staying in Hougang area. Lots of rallies and actions going on. Such a pity that my home *under the district of Tanjong Pagar* is under MM. For your information, MM does not mean Mushmom *maplesea*. I nearly fainted when I was talking to one of my guild friends about the general election, I mentioned MM, and he said, Mushmom??? =.='''
Back to the topic, well, in order to contest against MM *minister mentor* Lee Kwan Yew, that guy must be either a filthy rich guy who has too much money to spend on lawsuits and defamation which MM will most probably send him as a greeting letter the very next day of his contestation, or he's a nuthead. Besides reading the newspapers on the general election, I've been watching the polling broadcasts and also interviews with the MM Lee and PM Lee Hsien Long *MM Lee
son*. Honestly speaking, I was quite irritated with MM Lee's interview, because he did not allow the interviewers to posing their questions and he just interrupts countlessly. Daddy said it's his way of showing his authority and standing. Well, that's quite true, considering the fact that he was a lawyer in the past. *That also means most probably I'll end up speaking like him if I'd continued my dream of being a lawyer* GOD!!!!
One of the opposition party, the SDP *Singapore Democratic Party* led by the infamous Dr Chee Soon Juan *if I've spelt his name correctly* and his sister, and their usual tatics, or should I say antics? I'm amazed that SDP still insist on running in the general election. I mean, their party is in such a disarray!!! How can they go for war? They had already been given the famous SEE YOU IN COURT scene, the party has already split in the "Apologise to MM" and the "Fat Hope if you want me to apologise", which now only leaves the Chee siblings. At first it was only 4 of the party members who decided to apologise, but now, all of the party members except the Chee siblings have already apologised to MM in one way or another. I'm totally so turn off by Dr Chee. I don't agree with his ways of contesting. At least learn from Chiam See Tong! Somemore he's given a title of a Dr. Please don't make a fool of yourself anymore.
I quite like Chiam's style of opposition. He gives me the impression that he clearly knows what he's doing, what his consequences of his actions and most importantly, he doesn't not act rashly and throw accusations but does his homework to justify his statements. *He also resembles a little of my late grandfather*. I was quite disappointed that I couldn't vote, but Daddy said, "Crazy. Vote for what? Waste time and need to queue. You think very fun?"
Hmmm... Well, he voted 3 times before! So of course he can say that. He'd his fair share of voting. All I hoped is that the next elected party will consider the issues of increasing tuition fees in tertiary education, transportation in Singapore and increasing living expenditure. I just finished my 2nd year in NTU and I've already had my tuition fee increase twice. The reasons given are better lecturers, equipments blah blah blah... LIAR! I don't see any improvements in the lecturers! My analog electronics lecturer speaks Hokkien during all of hislectures! IS THAT AN IMPROVEMENT? Those students like me who don't understand a single F*CK about Hokkien lose out! And those laboratory sessions, it's the same experiment for the past 3 years! One of my friend's senior told him, we're doing the same experiment he did 2 years ago! WHERE THE HELL IS MY INCREASED IN TUITION FEE GONE TOO? Gone to re-painting NTU buildings? WHAT THE F*CK! Children of rich parents do not have any problems with the increase in fees. But what about students like me who come from less-well-to-do families and they have to sign loans from bank to pay their fees? And how many of Singaporeans are filthy rich?
The elected party also better do something about transportation in Singapore. I went to the May Day concert with my friends, Yongyun and Sufeng. We decided to head to Geylang for supper. When we finished our supper and head to the train station, it was 11.50pm and we've missed the last train. So I'm stucked in Singapore without a train home. Bus? Cab? What if I've missed my last bus as well? I resorted to taking a cab home. Just don't understand why PAP have to restrict the transportation modes. I understand that if SBS don't allow 24 hours service because the drivers have to rest. I also understand if SMRT don't allow 24 hours service because their staff also have to rest. But how about having a 24 hours train auto controlled like the NEL *north east line* train?
Lastly, the living expenditure in Singapore keeps increasing. But I don't see my parents salary increasing. And my parents don't even give me allowance. My monthly allowance is on loan from NTU, which I'll have to pay back when I graduate. Which in turn add another burden to me with the increasing tuition fee. How I wish my surname's Lee, a relative of MM or PM *but not my feminine guy friend Lee Kin Leong, that will be a nightmare*. Increase GST, upgraded lifts and rooms we have to pay for ourselves. I totally agree with Chiam See Tong. Why should we pay for the lifts to stop at every floor? It should be given free! What if there's a block of aged people living, is the party gonna demand them to pay for the lifts to operate at every floor? We pay taxes, pay for CPFs, which is being controlled by the PAP, which they say it's to help us save for our old age. I agree. But what if that person is only left with a few months to leave. Can he not enjoy himself? So many restrictions. Feeling the anger seeping into me...
Am I against the PAP? Am I a supporter of Chiam See Tong? No. I'm neither. I just wished that the elected party of 2006 will help ease some of my problems. Hope I won't see a greeting letter from the police when I submit this blog entry. I repeat, I'm not in favour of any party! JUST GET MY PROBLEMS SOLVED!
Alrighty! Tomorrow's the last paper. Less than 12 hours to go... I'm nervous... YIKESSSSS!!!
3 more to go...
PS: I've got a blog entry which I'm so tempted to blog it now. But time is precious... I'll blog it after my exams... It has some linkage to my buddy's favourite topic, i.e., boobs. BUT IT'S NOTHING OFFENSIVE nor as interesting as his blog entry. So don't expect much.
I know is a tough temptation to u... better be careful and keep focus... just a few weeks more and u can enjoy the 2 months holiday...
Ugghhh!!! I'm resisting the temptation to slack and game. I cannot! Have to study! Exams will be over... I can't wait for exams to be over!!! I'm already in the holiday mood! GOSH!!!! SLAP ME!!!
Ever wondered how to keep a relationship on-going and to prevent it from becoming stale? I'm a firm believer in engaging my partner in interesting and intellectual stimulating topics, i.e., debatable subjects. However, I realised that not everyone is interested. My boyfriend is fuming now, after I started the conversation on "The Oppression of Women. Does equality really exist?".
Obviously I'm in the proposition party. Duh... My boyfriend doesn't agree with me. That's nothing suprising to me. I mean, which guy will say, "Oh yes! You're right. Women are still being oppressed." I do have guy friends who have views and opinions as I do ( they're in the same humanitities lecture group as me ). So, I'm not forcing my boyfriend to change his view, just that I wish to broaden his perception. Humanities helps one to be aware of the society, culture and life. I'm not saying that everything that humanities teaches us are right. But it enhances our awareness and allows us to see things in different perceptions. I just want to have an interesting conversation with my boyfriend. But it turn out the exact opposite. He was fuming mad and even said, " It's very frustrating talking to you."
I'm not picking on him, nor his viewpoints. I just pointed out to him the loopholes of his argument. Alright. I might have been too carried away with my debate ( I can't help it. I represented my class in college in debating - I'm not being snobbish here alright. I'm just a girl with a very strong sense of desire to debate ).
When we hunged up, I took the initiative to send him a SMS, apologising if I'd in anyway insulted him during our conversation, which he replied that he's angry and he wished that I'd cherish the time spent with him. I sent him another SMS to apologise and said that I'll not start such topics anymore. Which he replied in the fuming tone that he's angry at me not because of the topic but I chose the wrong time to start such a conversation and thus he's late for his class. I was confused because at one point of time, he said that he's frustrated with talking to me, in an unconceding tone. The next point of time, he's mad at me for making him late for class. So which is which?
I started this debatable topic during our conversation because I realised that our conversations are becoming more related to superficial topics. I believe that in a healthy relationship, sometimes the couple must engage themselves to intellectual stimulating conversations so as to keep the relationship alive. To put it bluntly, if I wanted my boyfriend to just talk about superficial topics with me everyday throughout our relationship, I don't see the need to break up with my ex, because he's a very good candidate to a stale relationship with no intellectual challenging topics to converse it. My apologies to those whom I may have offend, but that's my stand. Take it or leave it.
It's the time of the half yearly stressful event. EXAMS!!!! Shucks! I'm so gonna be a goner in like 2 days time!!!! HOW HOW HOW?!??!?! I feel sick, feel stressed, feel stretched out emotionally, physically and mentally. I HATE THAT FEELING OF IMPENDING DOOM!!!! I feel so dead...
Hou Hsiao Hsien's latest film, Three Days, is out! I'm sooooo gonna watch it after my exams! Hopefully it's still screening by then. I'm sooooo excited! I wanna watch!!!!
I'd just finished reading my reading materials for my module - Understanding Chinese Cinema. The reading materials really enlightened me. I finally managed to grasp a little of how a director thinks. Take China's movie director, Zhang Yimou. He uses children in his film to portray the future generation of China. The father is the old generation of China. Though Zhang Yimou's films have been widely appluaded by the West, his homeland however bans his films, for reasons that his films do not portray the "real" China, but the China that satisfies the perceptions of the West.
Taiwan's movie director, Hou Hsiao Hsien, is one of my favourites. I truely believe he is one talented film director. In one of his films, City of Sadness, which highlights the conflict between Taiwan and China, and the February 28, 1947 massacre of an estimated eighteen thousand to twenty-eight thousand native-born Taiwanese. Hou Hsiao Hsien illuminates Jean-Francois Lyotard definition of "history", which states that history is made up of wisps of narratives, stories that one tells, that one hears, that one acts out... City of Sadness depicts the personal narratives of the Lim family and their friends. Tony Leung Chiu-Wai, who plays a deaf-mute in the film portrays Taiwan's voiceless, marginalized existance. What I felt most deep-renching were the sentences uttered by Lim Wenxiong, the eldest son of the family, "We Taiwanese are the most pitiable. First come the Japanese, the come the Chinese. We're eaten by everyone, ridden by everyone, but cared for by no one at all."
The conflicts betweeen Taiwan and China goes way back to the Qing dynasty era. The Qing court gave up Taiwan to Japan after a crushing defeat. Then came 1945, after 50 years of Japanese colonial rule came to an end, and 1949, when Chiang Kai-shek's Nationalist KMT forces established a government-in-exile after the Communist army captured Mainland China. From the KMT perspective, Japan's surrender(WWII) and the end of its occupation of Taiwan were a great victory that "liberated" the Taiwanese from oppression and exploitation and returned them to the "warm embrace of the Chinese motherland." It was to be the start of a new era of peace and prosperity for the Taiwanese people - a sense of hope and expectation for the future that is conveyed in the celebratory opening scences of City of Sadness. Taiwanese jubilation and optimism, however, was short-lived, as the behaviour and attitudes of the Nationlist officials sent to govern the island began to alienate and antagonize the native population.
While the ancestors of those who consider themselves native to Taiwan did come from centuries ago, interaction between the island and the Mainland was in fact extremely limited throughout the 18th and 19th centuries, as the island was virtually ignored by the central Chinese government, which did not hesitate to cede Taiwan to Japan in 1895. The island's sense of separateness and difference was aggravated by its half-century under Japanese rule and again by the Nationalist government's arrogant behaviour when it took over the island from the Japanese in 1945. Chinese officials did not welcome the Taiwanese populance as their own; instead, they adopted the attitude of a conquerer. Nor did the Taiwanese people welcome the new arrivals from the Mainland as their Chinese brothers and sisters ( In the film, Taiwanese often refer to mainlanders using the derisive term Ashande, the one from the mountains ). There are many scenes foreground the multiple levels of translation necessary for Taiwanese and mainlanders to even communicate with each other, an obstacle that clearly raises the potential for mutual understanding between the two groups.
Hou Hsiao Hsien sees his exploration f the past in City of Sadness as a necessary catharsis for the Taiwanese people, without which the tensions and conflicts of society cannot be put to rest. As he said, " I hope that a renewed understanding of 'Two-two-eight' will help everyone to finally cast away its dark shadow and go on living with energy and vitality. What I desire most is for audiences who see my film to leave the theater not only with tears in their eyes, but with a new sense of pride, of empowerment, and with the determination to move towards the future."
Talented director. I admire.
Daniel Powter
Bad Day
Where is the moment when we need it the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue sky's faded to grey
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carrying on
Stand in the line just ahead of the law
You're faking a smile with the coffee you go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces every time
And I don't need no carrying on
Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day
Well you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carrying on
You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day
Sometimes the system goes on the blink and the whole thing it turns out Wrong
You might not make it back and you know that you could be well oh that Strong
Well I'm not wrong
So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day
You had a bad day
Well, so much for my discipline on blogging. Back to my lazy self, procrastinating and laziness, even to blogging! What's the reason for this entry? My buddy Kwang Chek! WHO ELSE COULD IT BE? Such sarcasm from him. Commenting that if I do not make an attempt to at least blog a new entry, my blog would be unaccessible to me. THANKS DUDE FOR YOUR CARE AND CONCERN. I know you read my blog often because you're just sooooo in love with digging information about my life. I can't help it! I'm a MEGA-STAR!!!
Exams are nearing. And I've yet to start my revision, and my lecturers are still bombarding us with new topics and theories. I'm not a sponge! I cannot retain information for more than 3 seconds. I've a goldfish memory! HELP!!!!!
So looking forward to the end of exams even when the EXAMS are NEARING and I've NOT PREPARE for it. Almighty Ones above, bless me with your powers. Ohmmmmm.....
It's been a long time since I last wrote an entry. Reason? Procrastination. Hahaha... Well, the exams are finally over and holidays are here! Holidays = Gaming! Yeah... I'm sooo deprived of games.
Watched a television programme last night - Tab TV. Topic of the day: Teenage Sex and SPG (sarong party girls). They interviewed a SPG girl, Izzy, a boy who had sex with a prostitute (a malay guy) and guests were The Flying Dutchman, an Indian counsellor and Daphne Khoo, Singapore Idol Finalist.
Izzy, the SPG had countless sex with caucasians. And she lost her chasity at the tender age of 16. When the host of the programme, Evelyn asked her why 16? She replied nonchantly, "Because that's the legal age." OH MY! She sure does plan it well. I've got nothing much to add anymore...
My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.
Yeah, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
Fucking high,
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.
I really have to blog this entry. This is really an eye opening experience buffet I ever had. Yesterday was my brother's 24th birthday. As usual, the whole family went out for buffet to celebrate his day. We went to Furama Hotel for the buffet. When we reached our destination, my mom approached a guy in a suit, presumably the manager. When my mom walked up to him for a table for four, he didn't even bother to stand up smartly, but continued leaning on the ice-cream palour. He was rude! Didn't even look into my mom's eyes and answer her question. He said, " I only have this table on my left here." What the FUCK! Is this what a hotel service is like? He was staring behind my mom and not looking at her when he "replied" her. After that incident, we realised that there's a wedding dinner to be held at the same buffet outlet. We're totally fine with it. BUT! Woah! Read on!
Guests of the wedding couple strolled in. You must be thinking that since it's held in a hotel, they're probably well-dressed. WRONG! They showed up in shorts, bermudas and slippers! Is this the attire to don for a wedding dinner? It was a fashion disaster for me no doubt. There's more to come. Read on!
Either the hotel didn't make necessary arrangements for a smooth pathway for the wedding guests and customers like us, or there were too many wedding guests, because the whole place ended up messy and chaotic. It was as if I were in the market, with tons of people rushing to get their hands on the plates and pile them MOUNTAIN high with food. The table next to us, they have their own mini-buffet! Well, you wouldn't expect much from them when you see their from the lower class of the society. AH BENGS! Oh my GOD!! Half-buttoned shirts, showing off their tatoos, laughing loudly, with hokkien expletitives shooting across the whole restaurant. I managed to catch a glimpse of the bride and bridegroom. The bride's pretty. And she looks so lost when I saw her waiting for her husband to stand next to her to start the drinking ceremony. The bridegroom was with his AH BENG friends, exchanging words such as "ken ni na" loudly! Oh my! My brother and I choked on our drink and food respectively when we heard that. What was going through in the minds of the bride's parents? I think I need not explain further.
There was many time I nearly stepped onto the bride's dress. Hey! Her gown was filled with those frillys! Not my fault if i stepped on them and she falls down flat! The restaurant was not spacious! I didn't enjoy my dinner at all. In fact, I didn't eat much. Firstly, the thought of having to push people away so I can get my food disgusts me. I'm not going to lower myself to such disgrace. Secondly, the rate of food being devoured is going exponentially compared to the rate of being replaced.
F(food being devoured) is Big Theta of G(food being replaced)
Anyone studying alogorithm should be able to understand this concept of Big Theta very well.
Throughout the whole meal, I couldn't help but stare in awe of the table next to us... Hokkien AH BENGS having their own mini buffet at their very own table, talking and laughing out loudly... Staring in awe because I applaude them for being so brave to disgrace themselves. And also having to have food displayed in front of them. Now I know how it feels to be in a triad gang wedding of Hong Kong. Not everyone has the experience of it in Singapore!
I feel like a little girl
Trying to conquer the whole wide world
Everybody wants a piece of me
And i just dont know where to turn
I've got work piled up to my head
All i want to do is jump into bed
And wash away my troubles with lemonade
Play hide and seek with the boy next door
Take a trip to Singapore and
Imagine how i'll make the world a better place
All I need is a good disguise
One where nobody can recognise
That I'm feeling so small
All i need is a small weapon
I've gotta have faith
Zapping monsters into outer space
I'm gonna be a superhero
Na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na
Yeah
If I were a little girl
Trying to clean up the whole wide world
I'd kick the bad boys back to school
Teach them fighting's just not cool
I'd give every kid a teddy bear
Turn starving people into millionaires
Break glass ceilings with dynamite
sprinkle a little sugar and spice
Turn the bullies that terrorize
into pink poodles that bark,
But don't bite
All i need is a good disguise
One where nobody can recognise
That I'm feeling so small
All i need is a secret weapon
I've gotta have faith
Zapping monsters into outer space
I'm gonna be a superhero
Na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na
Yeah
Little Superhero Girl
Little Superhero Girl
Save Me
Little Superhero Girl
Little Superhero Girl
Save me from myself
Trying to conquer the whole wide world
Brian:
Did I hear you right?
Cause I thought you said
Let's think it over
You have been my life
And I never planned
Growing old without you
Shadows bleeding through the light
Where the love once shined so bright
Came without a reason
Don't let go on us tonight
Love's not always black and white
Haven't I always loved you?
Delta:
But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's not enough
And when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
'cause your only almost here
Brian:
I would change the world
If I had a chance
Oh won't you let me
Treat me like a child
Throw your arms around me
Oh please protect me
Brian & Delta:
Bruise and battered by your words
Days are shattered, how it hurts
Brian:
Oh, haven't I always loved you?
Delta:
But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's not enough
And when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
'cause your only almost here
Brian & Delta:
Bruise and battered by your words
Days are shattered, now it hurts
Brian:
Haven't I always loved you?
Delta:
But when I need you
You're almost here
Brian:
Well I never knew how far behind I'd left you
Delta:
And when I hold you
You're almost here
Brian:
Well I'm sorry that I took our love for granted
Brian & Delta:
And now I'm with you
I'm close to tears
Brian:
Cause I know I'm almost here
Brian & Delta:
Only almost here
Ever e-ever ever e-ever felt so ever e-ever ever felt so lonely
Ever e-ever ever e-ever felt so ever e-ever ever felt so lonely
Ever ee-ver ever e-ever felt so ever e-ever ever felt so lonely
Ever ee-ver ever e-ever felt so ever e-ever ever felt so lonely
Ever ee-ver ever e-ever felt so ever e-ever ever felt so lonely
Ever ee-ver ever e-ever felt so ever e-ever ever felt so lonely
lonely lonely loney lonely lonely lonely
e-ever felt so lonely
have you ever felt so lonely?
lonely lonely loney lonely lonely lonely
e-ever felt ever felt ever felt so lonely
remember the time
when you here inside my dream
i wish you'll be mine
you're understanding what i mean
discover and see
that you're the only one for me
together we'll be free
that so it's ment to be
have you ever felt so lonely you're the one and only did you ever by. why did you say goodbye
have you ever felt so lonely you're the one and only did you ever by. why did you say goodbye
have you ever felt so lonely you're the one and only did you ever by. why did you say goodbye
have you ever felt so lonely you're the one and only did you ever by. why did you say goodbye
have you ever felt so lonely?
have you ever felt so lonely?
Lonely lonely lonely lonely lonely lonely
Ever e-ever ever e-ever felt so ever e-ever ever felt so lonely
Ever e-ever ever e-ever felt so ever e-ever ever felt so lonely
Ever ee-ver ever e-ever felt so ever e-ever ever felt so lonely
Ever ee-ver ever e-ever felt so ever e-ever ever felt so lonely
Ever ee-ver ever e-ever felt so ever e-ever ever felt so lonely
Lonely lonely lonely lonely lonely lonely
ever felt so lonely
remember the time
when you here inside my dream
i wish you'll be mine
you're understanding what i mean
discover and see
that you're the only one for me
together we'll be free
that so it's ment to be
have you ever felt so lonely you're the one and only did you ever by. why did you say goodbye
have you ever felt so lonely you're the one and only did you ever by. why did you say goodbye
have you ever felt so lonely you're the one and only did you ever by. why did you say goodbye
have you ever felt so lonely you're the one and only did you ever by. why did you say goodbye
have you ever felt so lonely?
Ever e-ever ever e-ever felt so ever e-ever ever felt so lonely
Ever e-ever ever e-ever felt so ever e-ever ever felt so lonely
Ever e-ever ever e-ever felt so ever e-ever ever felt so lonely
Ever e-ever ever e-ever felt so ever e-ever ever felt so lonely
Dear called just now. chatted for like at most 3 mins? Sigh... I also don't know what to talk to him about. He apologised for not keeping his promise. I'm not mad because he didn't keep his promise. hmmm... Maybe I was mad. But that was like 2 days ago! I mad because of myself. I can't believe I'm so selfish. Only concerning about me being neglected. Wake up girl! He's undergoing even more emotional and physical trauma than you being neglected! I'm trying not to feel sorry and pitiful for myself. Trying to be more understanding about his situation. But it seems such an impossible task. GOD! When did I become such a selfish brat??? I don't know how to tell him about it... I'm evil. I'm mean. I'm selfish. I only care about myself. Why do I deserve to be loved??? He deserves someone better than me. Someone who is selfless, unlike me. Someone who is understanding, unlike me... I feel so ashamed of myself... feel so ashamed of being his girlfriend... he definitely deserves someone better than me...
This is the 3rd time I'm blogging for today. Just finished doing Signals and Systems tutorial. Not much progress today also. Coz no mood to study. haiz... Sian... Also don't know what to blog. Signing off...
Blogging again. Just had lunch. Daddy bought lunch. If not, I don't even think I'll eat. Daddy was suprised that I'm at home. Was even more suprised to find me home so early yesterday. I'm waiting for his message, waiting for his call. Waiting, waiting and waiting...
It's Sunday. I'm at home. Suprised? Messaged him several times. Yet not even a single reply. Messaged him last night before I slept. No reply when I woke up several times to check on the phone. I've totally no idea what's going on. Is he busy? Asleep? Ignoring me? Can't study. Feeling restless and listless. Feel nauseous. Everything's just not right. Can't point out the problem. What am I gonna do now? Don't know... Hope he replies me asap. Coz I'm damn worried for him. If he's ignoring me, let me know that he's unhappy about me and not keep worrying me. Everything's messed up. Screwed up. Tired. Headache still there. No appetite.
I just came home. Many things have happened recently. Haven't had anything since breakfast. No appetite. Many things swirling in my brain. Rarely can I be found at home on a saturday night. Didn't go to Kailing's party on friday night(last night). Came back home from Clementi. Now blogging. But don't know what to start blogging about. Mind's in a mess. Can't filter. Disappointed, lethargic and neglected. But what can be done? Can't do anything about it too. Tell him also no use. Only add on to his burden. He has too much on his mind lately. My problems are just minor stuffs compared to his. Have to be tolerant and understanding. I'll just have to bear it with me as long as I can. Thought I could have dinner with him as what he promised me yesterday. But... Just that I hate it when I get empty promises. Well, it's no big deal. Really. Had that many times already. All alone at home ain't that bad at all. Serious. I'll go look see if there's any food at home. If there's none, then fast for another day won't die, since I managed to fast through yesterday breakfast and lunch. Save money too. But now I've to think of excuse of coming home so early coz Daddy will surely ask me why am I home so early. Signing off...
Finally! Our 1st year anniversary! I've waited for this day for a long time. I'm estatic. Loss for words to describe how I'm feeling now. All I know is that I'm feeling a sense of achievement. He has been the one who is patient with me. Tolerating my mood swings, bad-temperness, wackings, in addition, bittings from me. But he has his fair share of bullying too. I've truly enjoy the moments spent with him. Truly. Dear, I love you.
Listening to Hilary Duff, Fly and Come Clean. Feeling moody now. Blasting the speakers aways. Dear just told me over messenger that he won't be able to spend much time with me. I guess I've been gearing myself for this confirmation for some time. I guess this is what they mean by the loneliness when your boyfriend is in the army. It's the holidays for me now. Took up General Elective, Manage Your Career Development, so as to clear my subjects as fast as possible, and part of the reason is that so I won't feel alone. Yeah I know. I still have friends right? But they have their own lives to lead. Doesn't mean that I'm free, they're free.
I guess no one can understand how I feel unless they've been through it before. It's not that I'm so totally dependent on my boyfriend. It's just that, I only get to see him one day, out of 7 days. To be exact, less than a day if you count the hours. On Saturdays, we usually meet around evening time, around 4 pm, till at night 12am. Then we'll meet on Sundays, around 1-2pm till 4pm. How is that enough? Do the maths and compare it to the ratio of the total number of hours in a week. Is that few hours spent together enough to share about each other's events and incidents that all occured during the whole week? It's not even enough to communicate with each other. Sometimes, I can't even remember what I wanna tell him during my weekdays.
Yes, he does call everynight. But I feel talking over the phone can't bring out the meanings and exact emotions which I wanna express to him. Over the phone, I can only hear his voice, and the frequent 'Chorus' of ccb, knn, kns lyrics spewed out generously from his bunkmates. Call me demanding, a shrew, whatever. But how am I gonna converse with him with so much interferences?
I'm disappointed. In what? Can't point my finger at it. But all I know is that, I'm so used to the disappointment that it doesn't hurt anymore. Who am I kidding myself? Why am I still waiting at home for his call on his night out to ask me out? I confess that I can't wait for school term to reopen. Cause that is when I'll be busy again, I will be burying my head in the books, loneliness will not creep into my life. I'm going to look for a vacation job after the General Elective. I'm gonna work my ass out. It doesn't matter anyway. Afterall, after work, I still go home. It's not like I've appointments to keep to. Why don't I earn more money?
I feel that I'm evolving into another person. I want a fast-paced life. I don't want life to slow down. I don't want to idle, to wait and lie to myself to stuffs that will never happen. I wanna fly...
Any moment, everything can change,
Feel the wind on your shoulder,
For a minute, all the world can wait,
Let go of your yesterday.
Can you hear it calling?
Can you feel it in your soul?
Can you trust this longing?
And take control,
Fly
Open up the part of you that wants to hide away
You can shine,
Forget about the reasons why you cant in life,
And start to try, cause it's your time,
Time to fly.
All your worries, leave them somewhere else,
Find a dream you can follow,
Reach for something, when there's nothing left,
And the world's feeling hollow.
Can you hear it calling?
Can you feel it in your soul?
Can you trust this longing?
And take control,
Fly
Open up the part of you that wants to hide away
You can shine,
Forget about the reasons why you cant in life,
And start to try, cause it's your time,
Time to fly.
And we're you're down and feel alone,
And want to run away,
Trust yourself and don't give up,
You know you better than anyone else,
Any moment, everything can change,
Feel the wind on your shoulder,
For a minute, all the world can wait,
Let go of your yesterday,
Fly
Open up the part of you that wants to hide away
You can shine,
Forget about the reasons why you cant in life,
And start to try,
Forget about the reasons why you can't in life,
And start to try, cause it's your time,
Time to fly.
Any moment, everything can change.
"Collide"
The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you
Yeah
I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide
I'm quiet you know
You make a first impression
I've found I'm scared to know
I'm always on your mind
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I collide
Don't stop here
I lost my place
I'm close behind
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to ryhme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide
today is a total screw-up, fuck-up, sucky day. I screw up my 1st paper, maths. In a foul mood now. shit! the paper was so damn screw up! so difficult! out of 4 questions, i could only managed to do a countable handful of one palm of question PARTS! fuck man! i'm dead. bloody dead without a mangle of my corpse. maths! my favourite subject! i screw it up! how demoralising can that be?? Cordy told me while the invigilators were collecting the scripts, one of the lecturer spoke to her. "such a difficult paper. how do u find it?" Cordy just gave him her mega-watt winning smile coz she could find words to say for 2 reasons. 1: she doesn't know how to reply, YES IT'S TOTALLY SCREWED! NO! IT'S PATHETICALLY EASY!. 2: simple. the lecturer was cute. Now that's Cordy!
No appetite to have my lunch. Pissed off with my bf. Pissed off with the maths paper. Pissed off with myself for not doing well. Fucking pissed off. Now PISSED OFF AFTER READING!
It sure has been a long time since I last wrote an entry. Hahaha... I've been bitten by a bug, named Laziness. =.='''
Just recovered from fever which lasted for 3 days. Freaks me out man! Always sick before exams. The same thing happened last semester too. I guess, if I don't fall sick before the exams, means I'm gonna fail right? Hahahaha... SUPERSTITIONS! Wakieee girl! Did the fever burn your brains as well?
Terrible feeling. 39.5 degrees celsius. My whole body was burning hot. I bet if somebody cracked an egg on top of me, the egg might be cooked in half an hour?? Hahahaha... I'd to wake up in the middle of the night, ie 12:00 am SHARP to get a basin of water and sponge myself. Didn't wanna wake mommy up. She'd a busy day at work. She's tired you know? My whole body was burning way way way too hot to allow me to sleep. When the wet towel came in contact to my body, BOY! Ever experienced the feeling of being splattered by hot oil before? The only difference is that I'm not talking about a DROP of oil hello!!!
Wasted 3 days of precious time for this stupid fever. Now I've to rush through my revision for my exams. I really need all the DIVINE POWER I can request and attain... Allah, God, Lord Buddha, Confucious... HELP ME!!!!
YEAH!!! Today Dear gonna POP from Sispec. hehehehe... goody! Then he'll have 4 days free!! Woot! He went for 32km march yesterday evening. 5pm left the bunk. Then march throughout the night. Shiong ar... 32km! I still remember I went for the 21km SAF half marathon run. almost killed me. Can u imagine 32km MARCH! poor thing... Could sense that he was very tempted to give up the march from the messages he secretly sent me. He was really really tired. at 20km, he said dunno he can carry on marching anot. Dear's a tough guy. Must be really tired that's why he said that. I couldn't do anything, but just try to stay up as late as i can to reply to his messages. Until I cannot tahan, I slept at 12++ something. But he messaged me saying, he'll march finish for me. so sweet! *^^*v
He returned to camp this morning at 7.15am i think. Then gonna receive ranking after that, after that area cleaning, weapon cleaning, then BOOK OUT!!! I can't wait to see him later. Thinking of wat I should cook for him. He's tired out. After marching for such a long distance. Time to pamper him with my culinary skills! ahahhahaah... *evil laugh*
Gonna meet him later in the evening! From now till then, I shall decide if I shall cook for him! ahhahahaha... Coz I've never cooked for a guy before. See if Dear is a good today lor! =P
Wow! Time sure pass quick! Lunar New Year is here once again. Dunno what to update yet. Correction. I dunno where to start updating. Will update tonight. hehehehe... Procrastinating... =P
A brand new year equals to a brand new start of my phase of life. Year 2004 has been a fruitful year for me. Full of life journeys, miracles, sweat from hard work, and the fruits of labour.
Firstly, who could have imagined that we (Cheah Liang and me) would have ended up together as a couple? Certainly not us! May 30th 2004 was the start of the journey of our lives, intertwined.
Secondly, my application to Nanyang Technological University has been accepted. Wasn't an easy route for me to enter into the tertiary education. Getting a place in the university was just a stepping stone. Next, I'd to face the challenges: adapting to the lifestyle in there, getting the grades, making new friends, etc. The first two months were difficult. I wasn't familiarized with the environment, physically. I felt lost, stranded. To make things worse, Dear was already enlisted in the army. But that didn't deterred us. Distance didn't tear us apart. But tied us tighter than before. Dear did a lot for me. He taught me how to get use to university lifestyle, strategies to study effectively, and most importantly, he helped me to de-stress myself, and not to pressure myself too much.
I'm looking forward to the brand new year 2005! Wanna start a new phase of life with DEAR! =)
Dear's booking out today!! =)
His first bookout from Sispec. I was supposed to go to his house and wait for him to arrive home. But I was too caught up with the spring cleaning of my room, my house. Coz the painters are coming tomorrow to give the house a brand new slosh of paint. Met up with Dear at Outram's East West line station. Went to walk around in Citylink, Suntec City. After that we went to catch a horror film, Shutter, at Marina Square.
I never like horror films, romance shows. I prefer war, action-packed, comedies. Firstly, I don't see the logic in paying $8.50 per ticket to scare my guts out. Secondly, I'm not gonna pay $8.50 to watch the film in between my fingers. Thirdly, I'm not gonna pay $8.50 to have a nightmare. Therefore, it's really a rare occasion that I'm willing to watch a horror film.
There are conditions to watch horror films though. Firstly, my boyfriend has to be with me. I DON'T WATCH HORROR FILMS WITH FRIENDS ALONE. Well, except for girlfriends though. hahahahaha... Coz I'll freak myself out and grab anyone next to me. So my boyfriend must accompany me, if not I won't watch it. Secondly, I don't watch horror film later than 10pm. hahahahaha... Coz it's CLOSE TO MIDNIGHT!! I'm a pathetic freak in horror films. But you'll see a different me when I watch war movies. I'll be going, 'Why don't they blow him up in pieces?' stuff like that.
Well, back to the movie, Shutter. I decide to catch the movie after Ling, Huiyi and other peeps keep talking about it and recommend me to watch it. Well, since Dear and I have yet to catch a movie together since God knows when, why not? But I was half-hearted. Both of us wanted to watch Ocean's Twelve initially. But the screening time was late, so we have to settle for Shutter.
In less than 15 mins when the movie started, I was already whispering to Dear, 'Can we leave now?' hahahahahaha... =.='''
Throughout the movie, I think I was the only frequent one screaming and covering my eyes and ears. hahahahahaha... very dramatic.
I remember there was one scene, where the director purposely hiked up the atmosphere. Then when the climax came, I screamed like nobody's business. And DEAR SCREAMED ALSO! hahahahahahaha!!!! that Big Fat Pig also know how it feels to be scared! hahahahhaha....
After the movie, we headed back to my house. Then he tucked me in bed. Coz he knows I don't dare to sleep until I feel it's safe. When will I watch the next horror film? Probably at least for the next 6 months, I will not challenge myself to a horror film. I shall stick to my preferred genre of movies... hahahahaha... Dear also SCREAMED LIKE A SQUEALING PIG! SNORT! SNORT!
Alrighty! The exam results are out! 4Bs, 1C, 1D. Maths, Physics, Lab, Life Science are all grades B. Religion and Social Life graded C, and lastly, Material Science graded D. Though Dear said I've done well, I'm a bit disappointed that I didn't get A for Maths... Never mind. No use crying over split milk. I'll aim for A next semester. Not just for Maths only. But for Physics! Coz next semester, I'll be studying Electricity, Magnetism, Waves, Superposition! hahahahaha... My favourites! Ya ya... NERD! WHAT TO DO RIGHT?!?!?!?
I'm so shagged. Came back from chalet today. Quite fun. 1st time staying overnight. Well, not exactly 1st time. Stayed overnight when I was still attending the provisional JC period, but at that time, there's a teacher, only to backed out at the last minute. Didn't sleep much. I think less than an hour. COZ DEAR'S SNORES ARE THUNDEROUS! hahahaha... not that I blame him. He's got a cold. I just hoped that his snores didn't disturb his friends. Didn't sleep at all when he's awake. Afraid that his temperature will rise, afraid that he'll be cold, afraid that he'll kick the blanker while sleeping. But overall, it's a memorable day worth keeping in memory. I get to stay overnight with DEAR! =)
It's over. Everything's over. I give up. I don't want anyone, anything else.
Pissed off now. So god-damn angry now. Why can't she listen to me? WHY? WHY? WHY? What difference does it make by staying overnight just 1 more day? I can't tolerate my mom anymore. I've given her enough respect by not walking out of the house and go ahead with my plans. I've informed her about the chalet, ASKED her PERMISSION! HELLO!!! She should be glad that her daughter is tolerating her screamings, naggings, and biasness against me. I've not taken drugs, not gotten into any crimes or whatsoever. Why doesn't she trust me at all!? Haven't I showned her I'm quite a responsible girl? I give her a call when I'm home late, ask her permission for outings *how many daughters at my age still does that?*
I'm cracking... at the verge of cracking. Never seen a university student asking her mom for permission for outing? Permission on starting a relationship? Permission for almost everything? MEET ME! I'M PROUD TO BE ONE. I've already know how's my future like. Even though I'm 30 years old, I'll still be asking my aged mom for permission for everything, and maybe I'll still be single, a spinster. Ling! You've got company for spinsterhood.
Damn it! I hate my life! She doesn't even treat me like an adult! The apple of her eye will always be my brother. GIMME A BREAK! GIMME MY LIFE! If you gave birth to me just because you wish to control my life, my everything, I rather not live. Thank you very much for EVERYTHING!
05 December 2004, 1909 hours
JOHOR BAHARU, Malaysia : A Singaporean woman died after she lost control of her high-powered motorcycle and crashed into the metal divider at KM23.1 of the Second Link on Saturday night.
Johor Baharu (North) Traffic Police head Chief Inspector Bakri Zainal Abidin said Linda Wee, in her 20s, who worked at a factory in the republic, died on the way to the Kulai Hospital, Bernama news agency reported.
Wee, from Bukit Merah in Singapore, was riding her motorcycle towards Kulai to meet her boyfriend when the accident occurred.
She fell after hitting the divider and was dragged about 200m by the motorcycle, he told Bernama. She sustained serious body injuries and broke her right arm in the 11.30pm accident.
Chief Inspector Bakri said the victim's family had claimed her body. - CNA
If the person wasn't Linda, wasn't my friend, I would have just flipped the news as it didn't strike me at all. Such a short report, yet evoking so much of emotions. To the editor, it seems just ordinary road accident. To ordinary readers, seems just another news. But to family, relatives and friends of Linda, it's heart-wrecking news, with emotions running high...
Went to Linda's wake last night. Many people turned up. Jevon, Clarissa, Ling, Liting, Liya, Stella, Chee Sing, Meilian, Ernest, and much more. Even our teachers, Justin Tay and Grace Tan turned up. Jeffrey Tan didn't, coz he's too shocked and doesn't want to attend. So did Huijing. I understand. Coz I didn't feel like attending in the first place. But I refused to believe Linda's gone until I see her body. Call me stubborn whatever. Grace was crying when she arrived at the wake. Everyone was at the verge of crying. But Linda's a strong girl. She'll never allow us to cry for her. Ling said that at least she went away with her bike at her side. I agree. The bike's her baby. She loved her bike very much. If she's given a second chance, no doubt she'll choose this path again.
Couldn't sleep well last night. Woke up twice in the night, suddenly thought of her. Cried for my lost friend. Didn't expect to catch up with the rest at her wake. I miss her...
What is the world becoming to? I'm already in a lousy mood. I still can't believe Linda's gone. I'm trying hard to hold back the tears. And here's my mom, screaming at me. I mean literally screaming. Gimme a break. I'm mourning for my dear lost friend in my heart. Quit hitting hard at me! The same stuff, that I never do any housework, just sit around at home, not finding a job during the holidays, only know how to enjoy life and stretch out my hands to ask money from them. I'm sick of my life. Nothing I do seems to satisfy my mom. NOTHING! I dunno what to do anymore. Just finished packing some stuff of secondary school. Mom was practically screaming her head off me. I really feel like slapping her shitless. I know that's wrong. That's why I held back my temper, held back my tongue. I just wish I can move out, live my own life. I'm wondering, if I ever become a parent myself, I'll never put my child down. I'll never imply meanings that he's worthless, nor he's incapable, nor will I comment that he's not smart nor intelligent like what I'm subjected to by my mom. I remember when I finished my A-levels, awaiting for my results, one can always hear her rentless comments about me not being able to make it to the university. To her, my elder brother is the apple of her eye. The desktop was paid by my dad. While I'd to slog my F***king ass out to buy myself a celviano. Not only was money the factor, I'd to persuade them to allow me to buy the piano! Freedom? Sorry. I've no idea what's that.
Gracie commented that she's suprised that I've not rebelled. How can I? I don't see the use of rebellion. For once, I've no idea how to express my frustrations. I dun wish for tomorrow to arrive. If tomorrow arrives, means I'll be attending Linda's wake, which in turn means that I'm forced to believe that she's gone. Life's unfair! Linda shouldn't be lying in the coffin now. She should be out there enjoying her weekend, should be out there enjoying her youth. WHY!? SOMEONE TELL ME WHY!? WHY MY FRIEND? WHY ME?! FUCK! TELL ME!
I was wrong about today. I counted my chicks too early. Received a call from Ling immediately after submitted the earlier entry. Shocking news awaits me. Linda passed away in a bike accident last night. I didn't know how to react to the news. Blank was the word my mind registered the moment Ling announced the news to me. I can't believed my friend, my classmate for 2 years, passed away. She's only 20! The last time I saw her was in Millenium Walk. She was waiting for her friend. We chatted awhile, exchanged promises to keep in contact, with that, I cautioned her to be careful when riding her baby, aka her bike. Now, about an hour after I woke up, Ling called me to inform me about the passing of Linda.
Dear Linda,
You're a great girl to begin with, an astounding woman in the near future. We were schoolmates in secondary school. You were in the class next to mine, and in the next two preceeding years, we're in the same class. We joined the same curriculum, badminton and quitted at the same time. That was in the lower secondary. Though we're not very close. But we've our special moments together too. Secrets were shared, gossips were exchanged. During that two years, Linda was an excellent friend. Helping, reaching out to everyone who has problems. You sat next to Ling during our graduating year, 4/6. Both you and Ling were sitted in the 3rd row, 2nd row from the entrance. Joan and I were sitted in front of both of you. The four of us have so much to talk about. I remember you always fall asleep during Chinese class, same time with me. And our Chinese teacher, Mr Chen Tat Kwang, will always hook his eyes on us, to catch us sleeping, until he gave up hope nabbing us.
We bumped into each other in Millenium Walk 7-8 months ago. You were waiting for your friend. We chatted for awhile, after that, exchanged promises to keep in contact. But alas! I forgot to ask for your mobile. However, I was not to be disappointed. I searched for you in friendster. I wanted to add you, but I couldn't do so for I'd too many pending friend invites. Now I regret thoroughly for not adding you. You've changed so much my dear friend. A budding girl, with exceptional potential to excel in every walk of life. Strong will be the best adjective to describe you. You're a strong, independent girl, never backing down to life's obstacles. To that, and our 8 years of friendship, I admire you deeply. I know you've difficulties but you never ask for help, nor allow them to drag beaming face into a frown. Dear friend, I hope you'll find happiness now, for life was hard on your previous life.
Yours truly and forever,
Sandra
Well, let's see, I'm still groggy from sleep. Slept late last night, this morning again. About 2am. woke up at 11am. thanks a million to daddy who is so persistent in waking people up, especially me. -____- Guess there's nothing much to update about today, since I'm not going anywhere. Probably will drag Mr Ho Cheah Liang for a swim with me. haha! A PIG THAT CAN SWIM PRETTY WELL! Have you guys seen anything as miraculous as that! WOW! *applause*
To be continued...
Dear's gonna be passing out today! FINALLY! The HOLY DAY! hahahahaha... Coz after today, he'll be having a week of block leave. then he can accompany me to go swimming, go Pulau Ubin et cetra. =)
Gonna meet Dear's mom at Pasir Ris mrt control station at 1.30pm. Then we'll take the chartered bus to the ferry station, and will board the ferry and head for tekong. Feeling sleepy now. Slept late last night. Er, actually is this morning at 2am. heez.. Was busy doing the cross-stitch thingy. Hope to finish it asap.
But as I'm updating the blog now, my mood is spoilt by my very 'GOOD' brother of mine, who has often thrashed vulgurities on me. He's crazy man. I just told him on msn when I saw him online, that he didn't close the contact lens solution cap properly. And you know what was his reply? 'Fuck off lar!' This type of brother also have. So much of his 'I love my family' statement. All crap.
*groan* I'm fighting a losing battle against the flu bug. damn it. Now that 3rd Dec is just 2 days away, I can't afford to fall ill! I've to attend Dear's passing out parade! I've so much things to do when Dear finishes his bmt. Still have to attend chalet, class bbq, go Pulau Ubin, et cetra. Going to meet Gracie later, 1pm at PS. Dunno can make it anot. I'll try though. Going to take a rest 1st.
Woke up at 5.15am this morning to wait for Dear's call. Today's our 6th month anniversary. But I woke up an hour early. Didn't want to miss the call. Though only chatted with him for 1 min, it was more than enough for me. Dear's gonna have a rough day ahead of him. SOC, marching. Yucks. Don't even wanna hear about it. Hope the call made a boost to his tough day ahead. Was supposed to meet Gracie, Liying and Andrea. But sadly, the outing was cancelled. Liying and Andrea couldn't make it. Gracie's sick. Didn't want her to come out, and pass me the virus. *hiak hiak hiak*
Woke up at 10am, when I've a dental appointment at that time! It's all the clock's fault! It's slowed by an hour! Only when I called my sister, Ling, did I saw the time on the caller ID. YIKES! Brush my teeth quickly and had a changed of clothes before rushing out of the house. Within half an hour from 10.30am, my pearly whites are back! *^^*v
Bought a double fillet burger from Macs, though I'm not a fan of Macs. I practically hate Macs. Only eat it when I don't have a choice. Bought some food from pasar malam held around the bus-stop, and then headed for home. After brunch,*lolz*, the food works wonders. Time for hibernation!
Tomorrow I'll be meeting Gracie. =)
Gonna shop around for Dear's present. Hope to find something for him. My 6th month anniversary present for him, also a passing out parade present for him. hahahahaha... cheapo? SO?!?!?! BLEAH!! =P
Damn it! Why does mom always find fault in me? I help her to wash the dishes, keep the clothes, fold the clothes, iron my own clothes, and she still ain't bloody satisfied! What does she want from me! Just had an argument with her. All because of my bursary $300! She's always arguing with me, either with the topic of me not helping out in household chores, or financial matters. It's only $300! How much you want? My monthly school fee which loaned from NTU of $270 per month has been reduced to $170 per month because of the stupid laptop which I've not been using much at all! Now I've received $300 bursary, she's into it again! When I started temporary jobs, working overtime non-stop, working my ass off, I gave her allowance despite my miserable pay! Not that she's not working or wat! I'M JUST WORKING AS A TEMP! And did that filial brother of mine gave her any money when he started working? NO! EVERYTHING IS ME! ME! ME! And now she's being sarcastic, about not giving treat about my bursary. HEY! FOR GOODNESS SAKE! That $300 is to last me throughout this whole 2 months of holiday! I don't even get allowance from NTU during hols! I've to dig into my savings for my travelling expenses, my textbooks (which she so honourably backed down her promise to pay me back for the books), my meals, the laptop (which I paid and I don't get to use much!) Damn it. What did I do to deserve this?
And now she's nagging me to get a job. Not that I didn't! I did go to job agencies. But there's not much job offers! What does she expect! Not only that, she's also nagging me to give tuition! Why doesn't she think before she talk? Who wants tuition during holidays? And who wants a tutor to give tuition for 1 month? And she retorts that I can continue my tuition throughout my university days. She thinks it's so easy to give tuition?! I've a reason to delay my tuition plan! Because I want to be able to get into my desired faculty! I want to study Bioengineering! If not Electrical and Electronic Engineering! I don't wanna be distracted! Does she understand anot?! I told her so many times! BUT SHE'S STILL DON'T GET IT! This coming next semester is gonna be busy like hell! And Year 1 is crucial! Coz I'll be streamed. I dun wanna end up in a faculty I hate and spend my next 3 years studying for the sake of studying. GET IT MOTHER!
I don't see a need to give tuition yet! I don't have much money! $3000 in my bank is all I have! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! MOTHER!
I'm in Dear's house now. He's booking in soon. Gonna leave with him, to meet his army friends. But I'll leave in the earlier train. Dear don't like me to see him off especially when he's booking in, coz he can't hug me, can't kiss me. Well, looking at the bright side, he's gonna pass out this coming friday 03 Dec 2005! YEAH!! then he'll have 1 week of break. Can't wait to spend time with him! =)
Today Dear accompanied me to the temple where Grandpa's and Grandma's ashes are kept. Went to collect my bursary from the temple. It's my A's results. Papa went to applied for it. Met some of my friends. My JJC 1st 3 months friend, Bangzhi, my SRJC friend, Huihui. Well, the bursary's $300. Although little, better than none right? Thes $300 will have to last me through the Dec holidays. *Groan* Gonna be broke soon...
Last season, we talked about how the return of the ex affected and changed our lead actress, Sandra, on her day out with her boyfriend, Cheah Liang and his group of friends. This season, we'll continue to bring you the updated news, juciest gossips about her...
After Norman's intervention during my Coffee Club meeting with Dear and his group of friends, I thought that's the worst thing can happen for the day. Wrong. I counted my eggs too early. During the night, while we're having dinner near Maxwell, my mobile rang. Guess what? My JC friend, Jerry, the guy whom I admire so much for his piano skills, called me. It was such a suprise to me! A friend whom I've lost contact for 2 years, called me! But the eerie feeling crept up on me again... He asked me how have I been, whether have I changed much, stuff like that. He even said, must ask me out to see how much I've changed. Talked to him for awhile, about 10-15 mins, I guessed. While I was talking to Jerry, my hands went to Dear's hands. But he shrugged it off. That action cut my heart like a knife. Never have I experienced such pain. When we reached home, Dear was in my room, telling me his problems. At that RIGHT MOMENT, a message from Paul, via sms, asking me out for a movie the next day. Darn! I feel like I'm in some movie plot. I never ask for attention from other guys, and I don't enjoy it either...
Dear booked out last night around 9 plus. We're supposed to go for dinner together, but had to cancel it due to his late return to mainland. *sigh*
Met with with Dear this afternoon around 2pm, since he went for a few basketball games with his army mates. Well, at least I did something useful during that morning. Spent time with my close sister since secondary 1. Chatted with her online, since she's alone and bored in the office. As what everyone predicted, she didn't do her job, but spent her time chatting with me. hahaha..
Dear and I went to Breeks, Orchard branch, for lunch. YUCKS! The food there isn't for human consumption! BLEAH!!! Even the ice-cream was pathetic! I'm not going to dine at Breeks anymore! We proceeded to meet Jasmine, Yiqin and company (Dear's friends). When everyone's has taken attendance, *hiak hiak hiak*, we went to Coffee Club in Takashimaya. Why? To discuss programmes for the oncoming chalet!
But good things never come smoothly, do they? I bumped into my ex-bf, Norman. He was with his gf, with his relatives or maybe with his gf's relatives. He's sitted at the adjacent table from mine. I began to dread the time in Coffee Club. Damn! Why of all places, in Coffee Club? That place gives me creeps. I met both of my ex-bfs there! Eerie! I'm not gonna go there anymore! Well, since I was the one who spotted him, I kept my profile low. But not for long. Coz since I'm in the company of a group of 9, we had to merge tthe tables, so we can gather for 'Discussion'. That was when he saw me. Darn! I saw him telling his gf and company mouthing about my presence in Coffee Club, coz the next split second, all heads turned at my direction. At that moment, I wished that the ground will just open and eat me up. Why I am under such scrutinsation? I just pretended that I didn't notice his presence, nor the stares lauded at me. When the table was done, I just wanted to sit down. Alas! Wrong seat. Sat along the walkway which he's to pass me upon leaving the cafe. As he approached me, I was praying fervantly, 'PLEASE DON'T TALK TO ME!!!' But, as usual, *prayers denied*. He called me, I had to look suprised right? I never felt like a 3rd class actress. My smile plastered on my face, registered a OH! But I know no one is so dumb to buy my story. Soon, I was bombarded with questions, How have you been? Holidays now? Where are you studying? How are your grades like? I felt suffocated as each second passed. After the short meeting, which I beg to differ, is a TORTURE! My spirit just died within that second he came forward. Mood gone. No longer chirpy. There's still more to come. Another incident that happened at night. Which is to be continued later...
Hmmm... Was browsing through my list of friends in Friendster today when I bumped into Norman's profile. He's gotta new girlfriend. Happy for him. =)
Well, it was a harsh ride for me in junior college. Norman's my first boyfriend. Met him in our class, 2S11. Things didn't work out well, as usual. We only lasted for a few months. 3 months. After that, was the Cold War. He was the one who initiated a break-up. Since he's my first boyfriend, naturally, I brawled my heart out. I even hurt myself. Now when I think of it, so damn silly of me. No matter how I torture myself, there's no way to capture his heart again. I didn't do well for my upcoming A's. So had to retake the exam. Well, serves me right. Anyway, when I look at the photo of him and his new girlfriend, he seems so much happier. Didn't have any feelings for him when I saw his photos. Finally gotten over him. Took me damn long. about 2 years. Really happy for him, finally he has found his well-deserved happiness. =)
I'm also not at the losing end! hahahaha... I've found my long lost love. ahahhahaah... My current boyfriend! He's been my crush since during my secondary school. *^^* Actually not I found him. Is he found me back! muhahaha!!! THERE'S A BIG DIFFERENCE!
We're going on strong for close to half a year this coming 30th Nov. Been a real blessing to me. Never have I thought a guy will love me this deep, dote on me that much. The past two boyfriends I'd, we didn't click. Not that my current boyfriend and I click very much. In fact, we don't! hahahahaha... I remember during our secondary school days, we'll always quibble and squibble over minor things. And my god-sis aka his best buddy, You Wei, always have to be the middle-man. Amazing that we ended up as couple. MIRACLES DO HAPPEN!
Alrighty! Enough of procastination! I'm finally sat myself here to write an entry liaoz.
Well, 14th Nov was a great way to kick things off with a splendid SPLASH! hehehehe... 11am set off to Wild Wild Wet with my great company - my pretty best sis, Shu Ling and my loving, handsome and very YUMMY PHYSIQUE Lao Gong! We had so much fun that day! Swimming against the current in the Shiok River, swimming against the crashing waves in the Wave Pool... And my dearest company tugging the float while i lie on it... =)
However, I was nearly choked to death in the Wave Pool. Due to too many people around our positions, and a FAT SUMO WRESTLER SIZE GUY kicking around our position, and the strong waves crashing over my head. dunno swallowed how many gallons of chlorinated water. Luckily Dear was around. He held me safely, never letting me go. He saw me going under the water, quickly pulled me up to breathe.
Shu Ling wanted to play the Water Viking, so I accompanied her to play. Dear was so sweet. Coz the Water Viking requires 2 people to play together. So he went to buy food for us. And he bought my favourite CHEESE FRIES!! Dear Loves meeeee!!!
We had so much fun!! Damn Exhilarating! After that in the late evening, I dragged Dear to play the Water Viking again! hahahaha... he one person can carry a 2 person sitter float! while previously, me and my best sis need to heave such a clumsy float and walk up to the top! hahahahaha... feel so shiok! I saw those envious looks of other girls when they saw Dear carry the float all by himself while i pranced my way up to the top. hahahaha!!! Too bad GIRLS! HE'S TAKEN! TOO BAD YOUR GUY AIN'T THAT STRONG! =P
After a day of swimming, we went to Orchard Paragon to have our dinner at that Ding Tai Feng Restaurant. hehehehehe... Shu Ling and Dear treat! =)
Dinner over, TIME TO HEAD HOME!! Dear insisted on sending me home, despite being tired himself. But I know he wants me home safely. He's such a sweetie!! LOVE HIM LOTS!
Dear's not those average guy you guys see on the street. He's cute, good-looking, tall, strong. But he's not a flirt nor either is he a sweet-talker like most guys of his category. I remembered saying to him before we're officially together, I liked the feeling of being wooed. But he replied, 'I dunno how to woo girls. I only know how to be a good boyfriend.' See! SINCERITY! And he really knows how to be a good boyfriend... SO FAR! LOLZ...
YEAH!! 3 more days to LIBERATION DAY!!! YEASSSSSSSSSHHH!!!! A long-awaited day! =) I'm gonna party!!!!! I've so much activities in plan already! lolz! This coming Sat, Dear is fetching me from school!! then we'll be heading to SCIENCE CENTRE to play!! =)
Then on Sunday, going to meet my good sister, Shuling, and Dear to spend a day at Escape! I wanna play the roller-coaster! From 9-11 Dec, I'll be attending a chalet with my bf and his friends!
So many things to be done within that 1.5 months of holidays! I'm gonna enjoy like crazy! Coz next semester going to be very shiong... got 6 modules... haiz.... must destress before entering another stressful zone! study hard PLAY HARD!